Very first post and I get an ignorant comment made by someone I 'don't know.' This is what this ignorant person said:
Get over it and be happy with what you have. You have a husband and a new house. It's obviously not the right time so get over it.
And to that I respond as follows:
Get over it and be happy with what you have. You have a husband and a new house. It's obviously not the right time so get over it.
And to that I respond as follows:
The world could allow me to have all material things in life. I do have a brand new house. I do have brand new furniture. And all of these things are beautiful. And I am humbled every time I walk into my beautiful, brand new home. I am greeted with a magnificant hubby every single day with a kiss. We have the best time together. We make the most out of life. I could wish to have an even bigger home, with nicer things inside. I could have a brand new car with all the hookups. I could have the boats, the 4 wheelers, the vacation homes, the toys, the everything. No material thing in this world could ever make me happy like being a mother could.
Motherhood - The Highest and Noblest of Work in this Life!
Elder Russell M. Nelson on motherhood:
“During my professional career as a doctor of medicine, I was occasionally asked why I chose to do that difficult work. I responded with my opinion that the highest and noblest work in this life is that of a mother. Since that option was not available to me, I thought that caring for the sick might come close. I tried to care for my patients as compassionately and competently as Mother cared for me.
Many years ago the First Presidency issued a statement that has had a profound and lasting influence upon me. “Motherhood,” they wrote, “is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels.
Because mothers are essential to God’s great plan of happiness, their sacred work is opposed by Satan, who would destroy the family and demean the worth of women.” Russell M. Nelson, “Our Sacred Duty to Honor Women,” Ensign, May 1999, 38
"Motherhood is near divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind."
Guess what? I am medically unable to be a mother. I don't get to hold that service. I don't get a choice to say 'ok, I want to be a mom now.' I would trade every home, every furniture, every posession I have just to hold that calling. If you have children 'annonomous' commenter, then shame on YOU.
If you have gone through this same thing, with doctors, procedures, medicine, THEN MAYBE you may have a say. But I think this comment was more focused on material things I have... and to that I as kindly as possible say
MONEY CAN'T BUY HAPPINESS!!!
And for those loving friends and loving family members who have encouraging thougts, I thank you so very much for your kind words and prayers. You don't know how much they mean to me. This whole experience has made me more grateful for what I have in life because you never know who longs for what you have. And perhaps I should be more 'vocal' about what I am grateful for. But guess what? It's my blog. And if you don't like it, don't read it. So >:P!!!!
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amen sista. I know its going to work...all this trying. I'm sorry someone tried to trivialize your pain. Your true friends KNOW you value motherhood more than material things.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePeople just need to realize that money cannot buy happiness. I think it's hilarious. BRING IT ON!
ReplyDeleteI wasn't trying to be mean by any means! I have followed your blog for sometime now and do know money can't but you happiness. But for those of us whodobt have a husband or don't have a house and yes I am one who has the same disease as you. But you have always been a happy person who always had something funny to say and I always looked forward to your blogs. It just now seems you want to start up a charity or a "poor me" party! Heavenly father wants you to embrace the things you have. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and bringing all your avid "followers" such as myself down with your bad additude on how you can't have a baby! Adopt!!! Like your sister in law did!! Bring people up with your humor instead of a blog about being "knocked down" what about one where you are happy. If you aren't happy then hide it there are alot of people in this world who have much worse problems than someone having a baby. Cheer those people up as they read your blog rather than people say "well what's wrong now"
ReplyDeleteTHIS IS WHY I HAVE THIS BLOG!!!!! It is for ME! It is for me to 'bitch' about infertility. And that is ok. I am in a support group whose members have a regular blog and an infertility blog.
ReplyDeleteAnd may I add, if you know money cannot buy happiness, then why,may I ask, you HAD to throw in that I have a new house? If you don't like it, don't read it. And yes, it was mean. I don't wanna start a chairity. I want to document my journey-write down my thoughts.
If you have the same disease, you should have EMPATHY. Write encouraging words. I don't write about "WHATS WRONG NOW". I write about what I am doing about it. I write for those of YOU out there with this same disease who need information.
You say ADOPT! Like it is that easy...have you tried adopting? It isn't like purchasing a kitchen table. I will reinerate about this blog...if you don't like it, don't read it. Read my other 'funny' blog.
One more thing:
ReplyDeleteI don't have this blog to get attention. I have it so in my everyday life, I don't act like a Debbie downer. I have said my peace and I can move on. Since starting this blog, I have been more upbeat, more loving, more positive.
Hi! I found your blog because of the 2ofus4now group. I don't post often in there, but I wanted to come and offer you support here on your infertility blog. I am shocked that ANYONE would tell you to hide your sadness. Denying yourself the opportunity to grieve could lead to much more serious emotional and psychological problems. It is NORMAL and HEALTHY to allow yourself time and space to mourn the loss of your baby, and it is NORMAL and HEALTHY to struggle before coming to an acceptance of your infertility. It only becomes unhealthy when it becomes an obsession and you cannot learn to move on. So, if this is the way that you need to work through your grief, MORE POWER TO YOU!!! I hope you can find peace in your journey to become parents. The road can be a long one, I know. But keep the faith. Miracles do happen! My daughter is an example of that. After four years of trying, the death of our infant son, and two failed adoptions, we are finally parents. And I can tell you, she is so WORTH IT!!! I'll keep you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteSheesh Monica I am sorry! I think it is great that you have this blog. Life never seems to go as expected that is for sure. :) However, I am grateful for my Savior who in my loneliest hours has always been there when I thought nobody else understood the heartache that I was experiencing. It was comforting to know that the Savior was completly aware of me and EXACTLY what I was going through. When Maxwell passed away it helped me so much to write down my thoughts in my journal including the times when my heart seriously felt like it was ripped from within. If I knew about blogs four years ago I am sure I would have had a Maxwell blog. In a way it is like a support group and I think it is a great idea whenever you are experiencing a trial to write down the good and bad that comes with having a broken heart. Although, adoption has been a miracle and such a blessing in OUR family I truly don't believe it is for everyone. Jeremy and I KNEW without a doubt that some of our children would come through adoption, but that doesn't mean it is right for you or anyone else out there. Thank you for having a blog dedicated to this trial you are experiencing. You have a lot of strength and courage and I admire that you can talk about this so openly. We love you and will keep praying for a miracle!
ReplyDeleteI love you Tuds. I am with you pretty much almost everyday for longs hours and I can first hand say you are the most happiest positive person I know. Obviously this "mystery" person doesn't know you whatsoever.. So Setitup123 you have no right to say anything negative to Monica. She is one of the most greatest person I know and I'm lucky I have her in my life. If you don't like it.. Don't read it then!!
ReplyDeleteYou do your thing Tada.. I love your blogs and you and Johnny Hot Dog.
Hopefully you can teach me how to Dougie...
I agree with Brittany. It is so normal to mourn and feel down, you wouldn't be human if you didn't! You shouldn't have to wear a mask and hide the way you are feeling..ever! So keep on being you, because we all love you! And "Setitup123" can shove it!
ReplyDeleteHi! I just wanted to say that I am sorry! I can not even imagine the pain you are going through. Sometimes I honestly do not understand why some people can have children and others can't! I know it will all make sense in the end, but it's hard to understand in this time. I lost my brother to a brain tumor, he had a 6 month old and had been married only two years. I still wonder why he had to go, and some days have a hard time comprehending it. Again I dunno what you are going through, but I can imagine how difficult it is. My heart and prayers are with you and your family... Also I think you are upbeat, everyone needs to vent sometimes, and I agree if people don't like it they do not have to read it!! I had problems like that on my blog about how and what I do with my daughter, it was soo annoying. That is why my blog is private now, and I think it is lame how people stay "anonymous" especially when they want to judge or assume things! As I can tell you have a lot of love and support! Remember those people, forget the downers!
ReplyDeleteMonica-
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me and I don't know you, but my sister is friends with you. I look up to you so much for making this blog and for putting your feelings on here and not sugar coating how you feel. The person named "setitup123" is a piece of work and needs to mind their own business and quit reading your blog and grow up. Oh and if you need a "bitch" session, you have the right to it!
I'm not very active on the 2ofus4now group but read your post and decided to come here. I understand your pain of dealing with infertility. setup123 doesn't need to follow "this blog" if she doesn't want to you have others. This is for you learning to deal with infertility if she wants she can have one dealing with whatever trial she is working on getting through. It is very theraputic to write things down. I didn't really think your blog was very negative it was just talking about your life. Keep it up do what is best for you as we all know people say stupid things without realizing how much it hurts.
ReplyDeleteI had my sil that have told me about my infertility at least you have a husband. The fact is I'm grateful for my husband but they were only comparing a small part of my life to theirs. They don't realize how many blessings they have that I don't. setup123 probablly doesn't realize the blessings she has that you don't. That is why it's hard to compare everyones life to your own because we never know what one has been through in life.