This is the day. This was supposed to be the happiest day of our lives. All I see now is an empty room, empty arms, and a broken heart. I have so many mixed feelings right now. I actually think I have more feelings of gratitude. I am grateful I didn't have that baby only for him/her to die in my arms... I am grateful I didn't have this baby only for him/her to die in a few short years... and I am grateful I didn't have this baby only for him/her to have some sort of mental or physical challenge. It sounds selfish but maybe I am. I am grateful that it's 'only' a miscarriage/infertility and not cancer or a life threatening disease. I am grateful that I have a husband who happens to have a nice ass. I am grateful for LOVING family members. I am grateful because I think I can say with confidence "BRING IT ON." I am go through anything after going through this I think because of my relationship with hubs and with the Man Upstairs are so strong that nothing and nobody can or ever will break me. So I say to you October 6, 2010- I am grateful for you but you are just another date in the year. Tomorrow you will be yesterday. And no, I won't forget that sweetheart that was supposed to come on your day. But you cannot make me sad, although I have shed a tear or two over you. October 6, 2010 will be my Thanksgiving Day.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
.jpg)
I'm glad you have taken a moment to reflect on this day. But its just as good that you reflect on all that you have. Infertility is hard, but as you pointed out, there are other trials that are just as bad or even worse. But the best part is the husbands that stand by our sides to hold us up when we can't hold ourselves up.
ReplyDeleteI think of you and my favorite brother often. We just love you two. We would love you more if you came to visit though. :)
ReplyDeleteI wish I could make all the pain go away for you. I couldn't imagine the pain that is associated with infertility. We love you guys!
I am grateful too. My oldest son is mentally challenged and its alot of work.
ReplyDeleteSorry Monica! It's crazy how a date can do that to you. Mine was Feb. 23rd and I know that aching feeling. You are really an example to me, what a way to look at things. I need to learn a thing or two from you. Thanks for being the person that you are! Love ya!
ReplyDelete