October 6, 2010

This is the day. This was supposed to be the happiest day of our lives. All I see now is an empty room, empty arms, and a broken heart. I have so many mixed feelings right now. I actually think I have more feelings of gratitude. I am grateful I didn't have that baby only for him/her to die in my arms... I am grateful I didn't have this baby only for him/her to die in a few short years... and I am grateful I didn't have this baby only for him/her to have some sort of mental or physical challenge. It sounds selfish but maybe I am. I am grateful that it's 'only' a miscarriage/infertility and not cancer or a life threatening disease. I am grateful that I have a husband who happens to have a nice ass. I am grateful for LOVING family members. I am grateful because I think I can say with confidence "BRING IT ON." I am go through anything after going through this I think because of my relationship with hubs and with the Man Upstairs are so strong that nothing and nobody can or ever will break me. So I say to you October 6, 2010- I am grateful for you but you are just another date in the year. Tomorrow you will be yesterday. And no, I won't forget that sweetheart that was supposed to come on your day. But you cannot make me sad, although I have shed a tear or two over you. October 6, 2010 will be my Thanksgiving Day.